Truth

1.       There is a power that tries to overpower and destroy myself every day..without God’s help, it cannot be overcome.

2.       I must act for God to help me.

3.       Beginning is difficult but once it is started, all comes naturally.  The initial obstacles should be endured without judgement.

4.       Life is a growth and growing is uncomfortable.  Welcome the feeling of discomfort and be proactive in looking actively for the uncomfortable. 

5.       The words that I utter to myself is often baseless and self-destructive.  Be careful. 

6.       Life should be packed with discipline and control.  Delay gratification and no comfort should be sought.   Comfort waits us in the grave.

7.       Our challenges and true spiritual growth come from what we find difficult. I find meeting time difficult and this is the area I can grow most from.

8.       Welcome the uncomfortable but the right thing.
9.  You can accomplish any goal you set for yourself, as long as the goal is clear, it helps the world better and you persist long enough. 

10.   Choice that I make determines the quality of my life. 
11.  What do you want? 

Why do I want to quit?

During my initial days working in Los Guandules, one of the most populated Santo Doming's slum area, I was taken by surprise about how people can get quickly enthusiastic and then how quickly the fads dissipates. Organizing savings groups with these people was one of the most daunting tasks I've ever had.  Their excuses were that the inspiration went away and they did not feel like getting involved in learning process.  They found saving requires a little bit of effort and because of that, they could no longer remain involved. 

After some while, I found myself not much different from these people.  When undertaking a task, I often got impatient, and refused to continue as soon as going gets tough.  I was forced to pay a lot of money for my not making it on time, but somehow could not learn to be disciplined and persistent. I kept on destroying myself.  

Torah says that when one wants to do something meaningful, he should be prepared to a test, because  yetzer hara will never allow us to reach our goals without test.  Their single mission is to make things difficult so that we give up and don't fulfill our dreams and aspirations. This can be understood that if the goal is meaningful, we are guaranteed to face yetzer hara's attack, or series of attacks.  Then why does God want us to struggle from these challenges?  

Rabbi Adam Liberman said that "only through struggle and fighting the burning desire to quit can we ever have the unbelievable joy and ecstasy that comes from achievement.  Right, God wants us to feel the utmost joy out of fulfilling our mission.  

Then what is the steps to take not to quit?  

First, as soon as we have inspiration, we should do a concrete act right away, and hopefully this act will help keep the momentum.  Second, to watch the moment of inspiration as a form of internal photograph, so that we can always look at it when the inspiration is needed. In other words, keep my eyes on the ball and remain focused on the significance of what we are trying to do. Third,  Remind yourself of those days when time was totally wasted. Is going back to "Egypt" my option?  

I know that I am vulnerable to yetzer hara, especially when it comes to keeping promise, I somehow lost myself for the last year.  I often tell a lie and do not respond to others, or simply ignore what I was committed to doing.  I cannot live like this any more.  This year, I will take much precaution not to make a false promise and will make efforts to fulfill my mission.  It looks like the greater the mission is, the stronger the temptation to quit.  Knowledge is power and knowledge should be put into practice.