Importance of goal

Man has a free will and shapes the course of his life. The life of man is determined by his choice in thought, speech and action. Environment and genetics may influence him, but they are there not to be accommodated but to overcome. So does with temptations, evil and hardship.  These are tests.  These are there to maximize his pleasure when overcome. The more temptations, evil and hardship he comes across, the bigger the sense of achievement.  God guides us to the path we want to go. He does not get involved in the path we choose.  If we seek righteous purpose, He helps us to reach there, whereas if we seek evil purpose, He also helps us to achieve it.

That being said, what if we do not have a purpose? Without goal, we are lost. All hardships, temptations, and evils we may across will be wasted without being used for productive purpose. Life will be meaningless.  We will suffer but not knowing why.  How important it is to have a sense of direction!  

When we are clear with the end goal, if we can focus on the big picture, all the obstacles we will hit upon on the way will add the spice that give fuller taste to our sense of achievement in the end.   Having goal does not only make our action meaningful but our entire life, because life is a project with a clear end goal.   

"When one comes to defile himself, the door is opened for him." I

Free will, Genie the lamp

Man is created in the image of God.  Unlike other creations, the human being has free will. We have potential to shape and change the world.  But am I aware of this untapped power of my free will? Often I am possessed by the thought that I never progress, stay in the same place or get deteriorated.  I witness myself as a slave of habit.  Proper use of free will perfects world helping us achieve our goals.  However, achieving goals takes a lot of effort, so we get distracted and take the easy route instead: the escape route.  To exercise free will properly, therefore, we need to be constantly sensitive whether our choices are in line with our purpose and take regular monitoring (accounting).

Rabbi Weinberg provides some tips to exercise free will:

1.     Do not watch your life passing by.  Make decision actively and monitor your decision every day.

2.     Be your own person. Do not agree with society unless you’ve thought them through.

3.     Distinguish between body and soul and identify yourself with soul.  There is no way you will ever achieve peace by giving in to the body.  Real peace comes only when the body desires the soul’s success. 

Body: Gravitates toward transitory comforts and sensual plasures.  Desires to quit, to dream, to drown in passion, to procrastinate. 

Soul: Seeks understanding, meaning, productivity, accomplishment, permanence, greatness, confronts challenges, embraces reality and truth.

      4. Make your will God’s will. If you do, you will be partners in changing the world. 

 I once had a goal of losing weight. Instead of just doing exercise, I recorded the progress on a daily basis.  The impact was astounding. If I had not been aware of the goal and had not been diligent in keeping the record, I do not think I would have achieved that progress.  Goal is there to be accomplished and the success is guaranteed as long as directed and conscious effort with daily accounting are put into.  

Says little and dos much

“When he met three guests, Abraham said that he was going to bring them a snack, but he brought them a feast. Abraham is a man who says little and does much.”

One of life’s mysteries I find is that the more I say, the less chances of accomplishing it. This story of Abraham provides food for thought. He could have said that he would bring a bunch of food but did not do so. Can we think he was dishonest? Not really. Abraham is a role model for the humanity and I believe that the trait he displayed here is something God wants us to emulate; say little and do much. 

I do not know what the relationship between saying and acting, but there must be a close relationship between two domains; when I speak little, it gets me easier to act. Often because of this I limit my commitment, since when I say a lot, it is highly likely that I may not be able to keep it. However I should not be confused this with limiting myself in pushing to see how much potential I really have.

Force of visualization is real

Mental image makes it easier for you to take action. Rabbis say that visualization is one of the most valuable gifts that God gave us.  The more times you repeat positive trait, state, pattern, habit and the way of being that you wish, the more ingrained they become making it easier to follow through in reality.  Anything that we’ve visualized doing is stored in our brain as if we actually took that action. Mental rehearsal shortens time to build up your willingness to act. 

The power of visualization is something I have experienced often times in my life without realizing its power and as a result paying little attention to the negative impact it can bring when not used properly. Looks like this is a new spring that I need to dig and actively use.

The fact that I have not explored my potential fully enough is because I never dared to imagine the ideal state I wish to belong to. Visualization is one tool connected to the creation. I have always desired to imitate God in His power of creation and visualization is a tool that can propel mental picture into action and eventually to reality. Creating image first and create it in the reality.  The reason I am not satisfied with my life is that I have not tapped into imagination or I used it in a negative way.

Force of using visualization is real. I will picture myself repeatedly with traits of discipline, persistence, self-control, zest, gratitude, optimism, curiosity, courage, kindness, serenity and conscientiousness. Most importantly, I will mentally visualize myself having done those tasks I planned to do every day.  

Getting things done 1

One of the character traits I need to work on most is the trait to get things done. I know that I have a particular weakness in terms of meeting deadline and getting things done.  I may write a wonderful piece of work, but if it cannot be used on time, what is the purpose of producing it?

What makes myself late in all things? First factor is a lack of concentration. I have been always busy with lots of things and had no time to reflect and check my priorities.  This has had a serious impact in terms of achievement. I unconsciously decided to avoid the reality and sought a place to hide. It is not something I should be doing. Besides I was spending too much time for unnecessary things and unproductive thoughts. If I keep on living without in touch with reality, I will have to wind up in a place I do not want to be. I will be eternally regretting for what I did. 

Setting the priorities and living accordingly should be my primary tasks. I will have to allot 30minutes before going to bed to reflect what I did during the day and what I will do next day. Without going through what I did and without planning for what I will do, it is impossible to move forward.  “Whatever you are able to do, do while you still have a power.” Torah says that in our lifetime we should exercise our free choice because there is no room for choice and action in the world to come.

I am alive still and I will have to straighten myself more, particularly in getting things done.  

Cinch by the Inch

Why did God ask Abraham to sacrifice his son Issac?  Abraham underwent a series of spiritual tests, but sacrificing Issac was one of the hardest.  I think that is because God wanted Abraham to train his spiritual muscle; without pushing oneself it is not easy to actualize one’s potential and grow. To be the father of many nations, God thought it was indispensable for Abraham to face the trials and reach a greater level of loyalty to the Almighty.  It is possible to learn certain knowledge by reading books, but true character development usually comes when going through hardships.  

From this point of view, hardship is something we should welcome and fully embrace. A test can put us into a danger, but when overcome it only strengthens us.  On the other hand, easy and comfortable life can lead a country or a person into decline.  A good example is Spain. Spain accumulated a wealth through extracting natural resources from Latin America. Spain chose to waste the wealth for luxury and war instead of investing.  Its love for the luxury and comfort has gradually led the country to the prolonged period of decline. 

Then what can I learn from this? Looking actively for tests and putting myself into the tests.  Once in the game, I should adopt different strategy though.  Hardship does not have to be always difficult and painful. Once the goals are set, I will have to figure out several smaller and incremental steps to attain goals.  Life will find its excitement and meaning along the way.

Spiritual Accounting (chesbon Hanefesh)

In his newly published book “How children succeed” American writer Paul Tough discovered that what makes the difference is not intelligence, skill or native ability, but character traits such as discipline, persistence, self-control, zest, gratitude, optimism, curiosity, courage and conscientiousness. One thing that matters more than all others is grit, the ability to keep going despite repeated failures and setbacks. 

Judaism has a special system for character development called Cheshbon Hanefesh. This is a regular system to evaluate how well you performed and take stock of where you stand.  Every night before going to bed, look back at that day’s events, and evaluate where you profited or lost.  Then make a plan so the next day will be more productive.  Our day-to day actions need to be reviewed constantly.  We can’t just dream and fantasize about our goals and forget to do the steps to accomplish them, or we’ll never get there.  Without chesbon we’are lost.  We have to keep track of our time management and constantly juggle our priorities.  If we do this consistently – e.g. every night- then we’ll be great.

Rabbi Menachem Mendel Levin (1845, Poland) wrote a book Cheshon Hanefesh in which he explains how to do spiritual accounting.  He suggests we put down 13 characters we would like to develop and allow 1 week for each trait, this way we can concentrate on a particular trait for 5 weeks in a year.  I have a great desire to acquire above character traits, but never have made a conscious effort.  I would like to start my cheshbon with “get things done on time”, that is keeping the deadline.  The rest 12 traits I will be thinking later. 

Life can be exhilarating with risks, but because we are risk-averse, we play it safe, eventually making it boring and dull.  I am applying Cheshbon in my life and will actively design my day to day activities with challenges, risks and sacrifices.

Challenges, Risks & Sacrificies

20 years ago I was a fresh college student who was determined to explore the world and seek the truth.  Looking back what I went through for the next few years, however, feels like or looks like a part of a movie, a not so interesting one.  It was my life and what I did became the basis of who I am, but I cannot help thinking that I would be better off if I had chosen other course of life.  I regret that I did not take a bolder decision and did not push myself further.  I could have grown more. 

In 20 years I do not want to be enwrapped with this pathetic thought once more.  I will fill my life with challenges, self-sacrifices, risks deliberately chosen by myself.  I want to make my life more meaningful and more exciting.  Most importantly, I will allow myself to stretch into the world of limitless possibilities.  Following is the status I wish to be in:

1. I have a burning desire for growth.  Nothing can stand in the way of desire.

2. I reached a level of being impervious to praise or insult, when I am unaffected by my society, yet able to learn from its positive aspects, I will be God-like and that is the great expression of individuality and independence. 

3. I take pleasure from making efforts.  When an effort is directed to a goal, the entire process becomes joy.

4. I push myself every day. I take self-designed challenges, risks and sacrifices on a daily basis.  I know that growth only comes from being uncomfortable. I distance myself from comfort and physical pleasure. 

5. I celebrate my achievement on a daily basis. 

6. I live in the world of possibilities and explore it by using the power of visualization.

7. I connect and join people.  I will share what I know with others. 

8. I have a peace and calmness of mind. 

Abraham is the figure I wish to emulate most.  Many of the character traits I want to acquire have something to do with Abraham’s. 

1.  Abraham facilitated people’s connection to themselves, by making them aware of the spark of holiness within them. 

2. Abraham had a burning desire.

3. Abraham left his familiar world.

4. Abraham listened to his inner self and got connected to God.

5. Abraham was coherent: lived what he preached.

6. Abraham saw everyone was created whole and holy.

7. Abraham joined and connected all the people of the world. 

Slow Conditioning (Doing everyday)

Time passes by. Because I did not make plan ahead, because I did not stick around any plan, invest or sacrifice time and effort, time passing comes as embarrassing and painful.  What did I do for the last year? Another year of sleepiness detached from reality. 

What if I plan for the future and act to achieve as if it is something obvious?  A little bit of efforts of everyday towards the goal will add meaning to every day and the coming of the future can be exhilarating.  Torah scholars teach that the secret is doing something everyday. 

“For many years I took it upon myself to focus my mind on a single thought-either Torah or prayer- for a specific period of time.  By doing so, I eventually trained myself to be able to concentrate for an hour or even more.” 

Another story is on a famous Greek wrestler who would carry a calf on his shoulders for a few hours a day.  He did so from the time that the calf was born until she was three years old and despite the fact that the calf grew heavier and heavier, he was able to do so. The task looked enormous but he did not wrestle against the big task from the beginning, rather he started when the task was easy to handle and did it on a daily basis. What he had done was fool his animal spirit by conditioning it. 

The lesson is this: Make plan, Watch it every day and Do something every day towards that goal.

“One who comes to purify oneself is assisted, i.e. the degree of Divine assistance is intensified or lessened in proportion to the will, effort and self-sacrifice shown by the person.”  May all in the world merit with the knowledge that only will, effort and sacrifice can convert goals into reality.

Creating Thoughts & Habits

In Judaism the purpose of living is to improve character traits. Mussar is an ancient Jewish system for personal growth specifically in character improvement. According to Mussar, there are two important principles to follow to achieve character improvement: The first is to understand the process of thought formation.  For example, jealousy develops when one has sinking feeling and thinking about his needs and lack of wealth and prestige and suddenly sees someone is praised or sees the wealth and prestige of his friend, that these are the indications of jealousy.  If one knows how the improper thought is generated, it is easier to guard oneself to develop the thought. Care should be taken, therefore, in guarding our thoughts, ideas and musings. “Praised is he who follows his advice”. 

The second principle is to understand the strength of the force of habit.  Men are born with two characters; natural and acquired one by habit. Habit is extremely powerful making man’s intellect to become enslaved to it when a certain thoughts capture a person’s mind.  According to Vilna Gaon (1720-1797, Lituania), only when the bad habits are straightened, then natural traits will be established on a firm base and if not, then they will all be lost.  However one can utilize the power of habit to free oneself from the bad habit.  Change in habit does not come easily though, but it is well known that man merits Divine assistance in proportion to his efforts.  Efforts are, in fact, the essence of the mussar discipline.

In sum, Torah warns us about possible pitfalls that we may face when it comes to character development, but suggests ideas at the same time how to deal with them: 1) by filling our surroundings with proper people and environment so that we can be absorbed into proper thoughts, ideas and musings and 2) by acquiring proper habits that can remedy existing improper habits. 

By the way, what are the proper or improper thoughts and habits? How can we distinguish one from the other?